CREATED TO DO GOOD

You may have been there for people in your life, but realize that they are not there for you as you would expect. That friend who shows up in your life only when they are broke; Then the other who remembers you only when their marriage is rocky so you can pray with them; Remember the one you prayed for their relationship and when things turned out well they never told you, only to show up when they hit a rough patch again and needed your advice? Then the other who in their lowest moment, you interceded for them and always sent a word of encouragement and when they overcame you became a ‘bother’ in their life? What about the ones you cared to know how they were but they cared less? Remember the one who woke you up at 3am because things weren't working out well in their lives and you had to stay awake for hours to encourage and pray with them? And when they got their breakthrough you ceased to exist? Then the other who was on the verge of their house being shut and you had to borrow money so you could bail them out but they are never there for you?

We have all had such moments in life. Today as I came from prayers, I thought about this and was asking God whether one should stop being overly concerned about people’s welfare and stop caring because it does hurt at some point. For what does one do when you are at your lowest and there’s no one there for you; The time you feel so lonely yet you have many friends? When you need to share with someone what you’re going through but they are all busy? Or when you need someone to care for you like you care about them and it’s not happening? That time, the Only one you turn to is Christ.

Prov 18:24 One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, But there is a Friend who sticks closer than a brother.(NIV)

Gal 6:9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. (NIV)

Luke 6:38 Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."(NIV) 

Ps 118:8 It is better to take refuge in the LORD than to trust in humans.(NIV)

Those verses came to my mind and I heard this in me and may it be yours as well:

“Put not your trust in men. Do not desist from doing good, for I the Father in heaven knows your heart. I made you that way, so don’t change because of people. I knew why I created you that way and I knew those times would come. I knew when it comes, you will run to Me for I sent you to comfort that soul, to encourage and to be of help. Wasn’t My son crucified yet He had friends? Didn’t He remain alone in the garden in agony? Didn’t the disciples scatter when He needed them most? Wasn’t He denied by those He cherished? But He stood up for ME and did what I sent Him to do. My child, be of good cheer, whatever you have sown, you will reap in good measure. You will be cared for, you will have people stand by you and show you care and love. Just as you showed others, a good measure will be poured into your bosom. I sent you, I will send them to you as well. Just be who I created you to be, hold on and I will do something new in your life. You are the apple of my eye, your pain is my pain, I see your tears, and I will wipe them. Keep standing for me and in due time, all this will be something of the past, for what I have in store for you, no eye has seen, no ear has heard. Keep on in me my child. Keep on.”

Child of God, continue doing good, God is smiling when you do, and in due time, you will understand why you had to go through some things. He’s got your back!

Shalom.

THE LOVER OF MY SOUL

The Handsome of them all,

Comely and charming!

Your eyes Darling,

Oh those eyes that look through me,

Looking past my mistakes and weaknesses

Eyes sparkling with tender Love.

Your Voice my Love is like many waters,

The voice that calms every storm in me.

The touch of Your hands,

The touch that leave me weak to the bone,

And make me lie down in awe of You!

Your chest with that Title across it in Gold,

I am blessed to have to lay my head on it when I am down,

Your feet will I kiss with love!

Your pure white hair will I run my fingers through,

Oh Your Face my Love. Perfect!!

Your love captures me over and over again,

How You chose to be crucified for my sake,

That I cannot understand!

For I haven’t loved You well enough.

You sure do overwhelm me with Your love.

When I do You wrong and ask You to forgive me,

The warmth of Your embrace,

Assures me of Your tender mercies.

That You forgive me and we start afresh.

How I adore You!

I want to be intimate with You my Love!

I want to know You more,

To go deeper in You!

Deeper than my mind can comprehend.

Let me drown and get drunk in You!

Because You live, I will live!

Breathe in me, Your breath of Life.

Hide me in You and guide me.

To adore You is what I will do,

My Love, My Sweet Jesus.

Trish

TO THE MOON AND BEYOND

When I saw this,

I thought of you my king.

How we will rock such tees in our old age.

I now understand why God took His time to make us meet.

The one He delayed me for. The one He kept for me until it was time.

When God made you, I can imagine Him thinking of me.

He knew everything I wanted and put it in you.

Then made me with all you would desire to have in your queen.

I want to dance with you in the rain,

Run with you in the park,

Laugh at our silly jokes like crazy,

And hold hands as we take a walk.

I see us growing old together,

Having our grandkids run all over our palace.

Going to nations for missions, going for vacations,

And us being there for each other in all ways possible.

I may not be strong enough in some things,

but that’s why HE brought you my way.

For two heads are better than one honey.

In your lowest moments,

When others bail out on you,

When the congregants talk behind your back,

I will still believe in you!

You are for me, and I am for you.  

Wherever life will take you, I will be there with you.

No one is perfect, but you’re perfect for me.

I won’t allow anything come between us honey,

For you and I are one!

Two hearts beating together as one,

Two souls intertwined to one!

I will love you to my last breath!

Love you to the moon and beyond!

Darling, you are not one in a million,

From now until forever,

You will be the only One!!

Long live the king! Long live My king! 

Xoxo from your Queen.

GOD WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU

This is where I come when I have stuff in my head. Ok. That’s partly not true, because I go to my other “online journal” and pour everything there before I come here. Makes life easier I believe. 

So child of God, have you ever woken up feeling like the whole weight of the world was put on your shoulders? Where you wake up because you have to? Now as someone who sometimes ministers in the church, it gets worse when you have to lead people in prayer that morning. How do you pray when your heart is so full and having an overflow of so many things? How do you even tell them let’s pray yet you feel like you just had an encounter with an oncoming train?

Rom 8:26 In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.

This verse came to mind, and I chose to allow Him to intercede, to pray in me for the sake of His people. The congregation is what actually matters for I can sort myself out once I’ve done His work. Yes He came, when I couldn’t utter some words, yes the people prayed and yes my spiritual authority told me God is doing something great in me. You see, in my own sight, I couldn’t ‘hack’ it today, I even wished someone could help me out and lead the prayers, but I have realized, when you can’t pray, go to where people are praying. God shows Himself strong in our weaknesses.

We all come to such a moment in life, when all we can do is just stay quiet and let Him do as He pleases. His will, and not our will to prevail. The greatest thing is that He has assured us that He is always there with us. He will never leave nor forsake us. In the high waters, He is there, in the raging fires, He still is there. God is not a man that He should lie. So child of God, no matter the circumstances you are facing, just rest at His feet and allow Him handle everything for you.

Shalom

NOT A DAY GOES BY

It's better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all, so they say..

Today I will just post lyrics to a song that just popped up in my head and leave it at that..

Got a picture of you, I carry in my heart

Close my eyes to see it, when the world gets dark
Got a memory of you, I carry in my soul
I wrap it close around me, when the nights get cold

And if you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind

Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you
After all this time, you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside,
Baby, baby, oh baby,
Not a day goes by!

I still wait for the phone, in the middle of the night
Thinking you might call me, if your dreams don't turn out right
And it still amazes me, that I lie here in the dark
Wishing you were next to me, with your head against my heart.

And if you ask me how I'm doing, I'd say just fine
But the truth is baby, if you could read my mind,

Not a day goes by, that I don't think of you
And after all this time, you're still with me it's true
Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside
Baby, baby, oh baby,
Not a day goes by!!

Minutes turn to hours, and the hours to days
Seems it's been forever, that I've felt this way!

Not a day goes by; that I don't think of you
After all this time, you're still with me it's true.
Somehow you remain, locked so deep inside,
Baby, baby, oh baby,
Not a day goes by,
That I don't think of you!

(Not a day goes by: Lonestar)

LIFE LESSONS

When I write, I must say I write what’s in my heart.  Sometimes it is God inspired, while other times, it’s just life as I see it. In colour!

Life that has taught me to be strong despite everything that happens…

To smile in the midst of tears…

To laugh even when I’m hurting…

To encourage someone even when I am at my lowest…

To forgive even when it seems too hard a task…

To love even when my heart has been broken time and again…

To trust, even when people break it…

To believe, even when hope is nowhere around me…

To smile at the ones who hurt me like they did nothing…

Hold dear the ones who believe and stand by me…

Believe that I may be down but not out…

That I may be crushed but not broken…

That I can still get up, dust myself, and get going…

A life where I have to pray for those who betray me…

And above all, trust in God who has good plans for me!

You see, God doesn’t sleep nor slumber; HE is the Alpha and Omega,

Our Creator! He sees all things and nothing catches Him by surprise!

The fact that HE cares enough to know the number of hair on our heads,

To have our names on the palms of His Hands,

Is reason enough to lay at His feet always,

To cling to His hem tightly,

And find rest in Him.

Yes! Rest in Him!

Shalom

WHEN SUICIDAL THOUGHTS CHECK IN...

“I’m tired of living…”

“I know it won’t hurt you all…”

“If only God could take me now…”

“I don’t want to burden people anymore…”

“I can’t take this anymore…”

Those are some of the words that people who are suicidal tend to use. Words that can be taken lightly by many, and seriously by some. Then when the worst happens, we all wonder why and how we didn’t see this coming! Yet if you keenly look, you will realize that these people normally try to reach out. They seek attention just so that someone can notice them and stretch forth their hand to help them, which sadly isn’t always the case. That’s when the remarks start flooding in: Wish (s)he told us what was wrong; Wish we got more concerned; Wish we were there for them; Wish… and the list continues. Others will turn to the victim with their own remarks: How could (s)he do this to his/her own family?; (S)he was too selfish to care about those they left behind; Only cowards can end their lives…and so on.

All said and done, the loss of a loved one, no matter how they died, is always a painful moment to their loved ones. In John 11:35 Jesus wept. HE saw the mourners and felt their pain as well. The mourners even wondered where Jesus was as HE could have stopped the death of Lazarus. Child of God, take note that it didn’t start with you to wonder where God was when you lost your loved one.

Depression and low self esteem play a big role to those who commit suicide. When they feel like they amount to nothing, no one really cares and nothing seems to go their way, then the next thought is that they don’t deserve to live. Although this may not be the same case for all of them.

“In Loving Memory of Trish. It’s now 12yrs since you left us…”

This is what my loved ones would have been saying about me this year, but thanks be to God that it’s not the case. See, this writer had her moments too, when all she desired for was death. Yes. They say suicidal people are cowards but I doubt that. It takes a lot of courage to harm yourself and you can only do it if you are possessed by something you cannot control. That voice that tells you negative things, that ‘energy’ in you that makes you fear nothing and makes you numb to pain. No, I am not alive because I freaked out, but because of God’s Mercies, Grace and Love.

I was in my fourth year in high school and staying with a relative. Nothing made sense and so much was going on at that moment. Long story short, I saw death as my only solution and hence I marked the date on the calendar. The date I would end all this and have ‘peace’. Nothing mattered anymore, after all, I was helping everyone, so I thought. I became numb to emotions. To see that I sat down and started contemplating on the best way to kill myself, just tells you that I was so ready to act it out. I weighed the pros and cons of each and settled on throwing myself on the busy Entebbe road highway. I smiled to myself for having reached that decision, more like a pat on the back for thoroughly using my brains. I put the date some 2 weeks away, just so I could bid everyone farewell without even them realizing it. Every night I got more excited that the day was nearing for me to go ‘rest in peace’. Allow me to say, it’s not cowardice but maybe a shortcut from life’s challenges and battles.

On my ‘last night’ here on earth, I cried not because I got scared, no, but because my mum, my brothers who I am so close to and my sisters would be in pain. But then, I would still die later on in life, so why not die now and save myself the pain of seeing any of them go first? Why stay in this world that was so cruel yet there was a ‘peaceful’ place? Why?... I went to bed happy, knowing that was it! I would wake up, have breakfast, then take a stroll like I was just around and bam!! I would be referred to as ‘the late’ and life would go back to normal for everyone with time. That was my plan, but definitely not God’s plan.

That was the first night I had an encounter with HIS voice, the night HE revealed to me how HE wanted to use me, the night I got to know my purpose here on earth. I woke up a new person with no negative thought but hope to fulfill my purpose. So when I say it was by HIS Grace, Mercy and Love, I mean exactly that, because not all who plan to end their lives, live to tell or gets an encounter with God. I wasn’t even born again that time, I am not the best, not perfect but a work in progress, but HE rescued me.

Child of God, next time you read such words from someone, try and reach out, don’t take it as a joke or that that person is just seeking for mere attention. You might just rescue a life and give hope to a soul that has already given up on life.  To those who are at such a point in their lives, I besiege you to look at the cross of Calvary. Get someone you can talk to and involve yourself in different activities. Yes the devil will tell you that you are going to have peace, but that’s a lie. Murderers have no place in Heaven and it’s a false ‘peace’ that he is lying to you about so you can join him where there is weeping and gnashing of teeth.  God still has your back, no matter the circumstances and will soon bring you out of them all.

 Let these words from Jesus to me bless you as well:

“I AM the One who gave you that life, and I AM the One who will take it away!”

Shalom.