GOD KNOWS

As I always say, life is in color… Sometimes the colors are bright, other times they aren’t; and such is life! One time everything may be all rosy, then the next minute, a dark cloud overshadows you. These are the times you question God if He really is with you; if He really called you; if He really spoke to you to start that business or career; if you really heard Him right about the spouse you have or the path you took. You even doubt the prophetic words or promises that have ever been spoken in your life, for nothing makes sense at that moment.

Isa 49:14-16 (NLT)

14: Yet Jerusalem says, “The Lord has deserted us; the Lord has forgotten us.”

15: “Never! Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for the child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you!

16: See, I have written your name on the palms of My hands. Always in My mind is a picture of Jerusalem’s walls in ruins.

God knew such a time as this would come and you would face it, just like it happened in the Old Testament times and thus He heard them, He saw their ruined walls which meant they didn’t have physical “protection” but He assured them how He would never forget them; still cared for them and had them in His mind. Same applies to our day-to-day lives. Can you just pause and imagine that Our Loving Father has your name on His palms?

Isa 46:3-5 (NLT)

3: “Listen to me, descendants of Jacob, all you who remain in Israel. I have cared for you since you were born. Yes, I carried you before you were born.

4: I will be your God throughout your lifetime – until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you.

5: To whom will you compare Me? Who is My equal?”

Now, picture this child of God; God your Father, saying He carried you before you were born! The same God, who made you, declaring He will be your God throughout your lifetime and will care for you and that He knew you before He formed you in your mothers’ womb! (Jer 1:5) Can He really forget about you?

Yes the struggles are real, life may not make sense to you, but He knows! Nothing ever catches Him by surprise. We may not understand at times or most times, but His ways are higher than our ways and so are His thoughts! (Isa 55:8-9) God knew there would be times when we will go through deep waters and through the fires, and He still calls us His and is ready to save us! How will He be exalted as a Savior with no situation to save us from?

Isa 43:1-3a (NLT)

1: But now, O Jacob, listen to the Lord who created you. O Israel, the One who formed you says, “Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are Mine. 

2: When you go through deep waters, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown. When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you.

3a: For I am the Lord, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. 

Despite the troubles, no matter how hard things look, always believe that your Father in heaven is with you, not to harm you, but to save you! The enemy may look like he is winning at times, but learn to remove your focus from him and focus on your Father. What did He say about you? He loves you so much that He even gave His Begotten Son as a ransom just for you! Yes, you! So who are you going to believe child of God? His promises are Yes and Amen and even though they tarry, they surely do come to pass and you come out victorious!

Isa 55:11 (KJV)

So shall My Word be that goeth forth out of My mouth: it shall not return unto Me void, but it shall accomplish that which I please, and it shall prosper in the thing whereto I sent it.

He who began a good work in you, is faithful to accomplish it! Hold fast to His promises. Let go of what was, and what wasn’t; let go of what didn’t work; let go of every pain and bitterness; let go of what you thought it should be like and focus on Him who prepared it way before you were born. Child of God, your Father will finish what He started in you in Jesus Name!

Trish

COMFORT ZONES

“Oh what I would do to have

The kind of faith it takes to climb out of this boat I’m in

Onto the crashing waves

To step out of my comfort zone

To the realm of the unknown where Jesus is

And He’s holding out His hand”

(Voice of Truth ~ Casting Crowns)

I do believe we all do reach this point where you’re not comfortable at the level you’re in, be it financially, spiritually, emotionally, career wise, name it! Where you desire to have that faith to get out and do what you know God has called you to do, but something holds you back; The fear of the unknown. That fear that makes you decide to settle in your comfort zone, a zone that you don’t like but choose to stay in anyway because it’s safe! Well it’s never a safe place!

Been there too many times and today as I was thinking about it all, this song by Casting Crowns came to mind. There are several things God had commissioned me to do, but I would remember the past, the times I tried and failed and I would hesitate to move as He wanted.  Do you remember the business you started but flopped as soon as it started? The times you’ve tried to have a child and gone to the best doctors but still nothing forthcoming? Or the many miscarriages you’ve had? What of the number of times you’ve had your heart broken in relationships even when you believed that it was ordained by God? What about the sick friend or relative that you fasted and prayed for but they still died? After going through such then God tells you to do the same thing again, the fear of failing will grip you!

Matt 14:28-30 (NIV)

28"Lord, if it's You," Peter replied, "tell me to come to You on the water." 29"Come," He said. Then Peter got down out of the boat, walked on the water and came toward Jesus. 30 But when he saw the wind, he was afraid and, beginning to sink, cried out, "Lord, save me!" 31 Immediately Jesus reached out His hand and caught him. "You of little faith," He said, "why did you doubt?"

Then I remembered Peter when he was told by Jesus “Come”, he did and he walked on water! The same water he had fished in and knew he always sank; here he was walking on it. He most definitely saw people drown and die in there, in his life as a fisherman. Then just like we normally do, Peter remembered the past and immediately he removed his eyes from Jesus, he begun to sink. We let the voices tell us what we can or cannot do, but in reality, its Only His Voice we should heed!

Phil 3:13-14 (NIV)

13Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

Child of God, it may be hard but it’s doable! Yes you can start that business again; Yes you can love again; Yes you can try for that child again; Yes you can start that business again; Yes you can begin that ministry again! Once God has spoken, His words are Yea and Amen! It can be difficult, but God’s trust in you is not misplaced! He knew you would do it! So dare to get out of your comfort zone, kick that fear away and like Paul says, forget what is behind and press on toward the goal. Let the Voice of Truth be the one you choose to listen to!

But the voice of truth tells me a different story

And the voice of truth says, “Do not be afraid!”

And the voice of truth says, “This is for My glory”

Out of all the voices calling out to me

I will choose to listen and believe the voice of truth

(Voice of Truth ~ Casting Crowns)

Shallom

LETTER TO YOU...

It's been countless days

Since you took your love away.
I go out every night to stare at the stars

Can’t stop thinking of you all day.

I know I can do whatever I want,
See whomever I choose,
Eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant,
But nothing can take away these blues!

It's been so lonely without you here!
Like a bird without a song...

A rainbow without it’s colors...

A beach without sand...

The flowers that you planted in my heart,
All drying up one after the other.
I know that living with you was sometimes hard,
But I'm willing to give it another try!

Let’s start this journey together.

Let’s dream and dare to love again.

I know no matter where life takes me,

A part of me will always be with you!

 XOXO!

HIS MISSION; YOUR MISSION

I once studied the story of Jonah and it actually became the first sermon I preached at a youth service.  Jonah was a man who could hear the voice of God but then when He heard what God had instructed him to do, Jonah chose to run away from the presence of the Lord. The All Seeing God!

Jonah 1:3 (NLT)But Jonah got up and went in the opposite direction to get away from the Lord. He went down to the port of Joppa, where he found a ship leaving for Tarshish. He bought a ticket and went on board, hoping to escape from the Lord by sailing to Tarshish.

Don’t we also sometimes get to that point where we choose the ‘easy’ way out? When we get our own fare and go to where we feel is the right place and even get comfortable on the journey? When we believe all is okay because God isn't saying anything yet to show we are in the wrong? When His Mission, ceases to be our Mission? Thing is, much as we rebel or become disobedient, deep down in our hearts we know and we know that that is not what God requires of us. We may even find “rest” on our journey to wherever, just like how Jonah had the time to sleep and believe God is in it but then the “big fish” is always waiting!

When we walk in disobedience, we tend to bring turbulence to the people around us unknowingly. Have you ever been thrown into the raging waters by the same people who helped you on your “self appointed” journey? Child of God, don’t blame them! They are not the problem, but you are! God’s mission has to manifest despite your disobedience. We are here for His pleasure and not for our own! One thing that Jonah did after being swallowed was to focus on God. No, he didn’t blame anyone for being swallowed, but decided to speak to God alone who could rescue him.

Jonah 2:7 (NLT) As my life was slipping away, I remembered the Lord. And my earnest prayer went out to You in Your holy Temple.

Child of God, when you know that the “belly” you’re in is because of your own doing, the best thing is to go back to Him who sent you. To humble yourself and allow Him to use you as He pleases. Delayed obedience is disobedience. Unlike Jonah, you can choose to obey and avoid that place where the waters compass you to the soul: where the depth closes you round about, and weeds wrap about your head (Jonah 2:5) 

See, in your sincerity to God, and without putting the blame on others, that’s when you’ll have an experience with Him. That’s when He will speak to that “fish” you’re in to vomit you. That's the place Divinity overtakes humanity and His Mission, becomes yours too. And like Jonah, that’s when you’ll pay your vow to God and above all, acknowledge that Salvation is of the Lord!

Jonah 2:9 (NLT)But I will offer sacrifices to you with songs of praise, and I will fulfill all my vows. For my salvation comes from the Lord alone.”

Shalom…

THE PAIN OF LOSING A LOVED ONE

Me: Hello my favorite and best uncle in the world? (I loved telling him that)

Him: (Deep Laughter) My Darling, I’m fine, good to hear from you...

After some chit chat about how everyone was, I had to end the call...

Me: Love you!

Him: Love you too Darling!

Less than 2 weeks later, (17th May) on my way to work, I got a message that the man who I cherished so much was sick and in need of medical attention. Being on a motorbike, I said a short prayer and said to myself that I’ll call him once I reached the office. I did.

Me: Hello

Silence.

Me: Hello

Female voice: Hello, who’s this?

Me: I want to talk to my uncle!

Her: Who’s this?

Me: I’m one of his daughters in Kenya, and I want to talk to him! ( I was now running out of patience)

Her: Uncle has just died!

Me: What? NO! How? What happened? No! Let me call you back!

Just then my phone bleeps. It’s a text message from my brother. He’s Dead! That’s all it said! I get my phone and look for my uncle’s second number. I call it expecting to hear his voice from the other side.

Me: Hello. Uncle...

Female voice: He has just died. (she starts crying)

Me: Where is he? Is he at home or at the hospital?

Her: At home. The doc was on his way but couldn’t make it in time...

I hung up. I called my mum, she was speechless. Just then, my dad called me, and I burst out crying. He didn’t know what to do and just told me he’ll call me later. My phone was busy with incoming calls. It felt so unreal. Many relatives knew how close he and I were and they called to console and encourage me.  Bleep, bleep! Another text message! “He will be buried tomorrow!” Everything was moving so fast that I couldn’t think straight. Asked my boss for a compassionate leave and here I was in the house, parking my clothes, making seat reservations and doing everything else that comes with confusion.

The number of times I sobbed uncontrollably in the bus, the questions I asked him ...Why couldn’t he wait? Was he happy leaving me in this pain that seemed to tear me into tiny little pieces? Why didn’t he just go with me? Who would genuinely call me darling, sweetheart or his sunflower and mean it like he did? He was to walk me down the aisle, now why couldn't he just wait till we did? He always wanted to see  me preach and lead prayers, and I longed to see his face when he saw me do it, but why now? The pain was beyond my control! Notice I am saying him and not HIM. It was hard to question God our Creator in all this, but I felt Uncle could hear and answer me. In the bus, we all acted like we had it all together, we wanted to be strong for each other, but it was hard! 

Fast forward when we arrived at his place. People were all over and this time, he wasn’t there to hug and sweep me off my feet as he usually carried me! He wasn’t there to hold my hand and make me feel like the little girl he always made me feel like!  All I wanted was to get to him. Fast! Got to the door, and I saw him! I saw him laid down on a mattress; Him with cotton wool on his head and in his nose. I rushed to him, calling him all this time. "Uncle! Uncle!" But for the first time, he didn’t respond to my call! He didn’t laugh and hug me either, he lay there. I was torn! I was dying inside! The painful reality had set in! They tried telling me it was okay, but no, it wasn’t! They advised me to at least go outside abit, but no, I wanted to be with MY uncle.

I touched his hands for the last time.The hands that held me a few minutes after I was born, and always held me till now, were now cold! The man who believed in me more than anyone on this earth ever did, lay there like someone who was sound asleep. I wished I could just see his eyes move and prove to everyone that he was still alive! For a moment I thought I saw it happen! But I guess I was just fighting; fighting with nature!

We laid him to rest. Each day becomes harder but the Comforter is with us. For HE will never leave nor forsake us! Selah! I miss him; I tell myself he’s still alive and we’ll meet; but then a time comes when I realize we’ll only meet in paradise! The first person I’d want to meet in heaven!

Grieving is a process. It’s a day at a time thing; no rush about it. Sometimes I smile knowing he’s watching over me; while other times I sob knowing a part of me was taken away. One thing that I am always happy about, is the fact that while he lived, I made sure I told him how important he was in my life. I never ended a call without telling him how much I loved him and fortunately, that was the last thing we told each other!

Life is too short. Treat people right for you don’t know about tomorrow! It’s never guaranteed to anyone! Appreciate people when they’re still alive such that even when God takes them, you will be fulfilled that while they lived, you did the best you could for them. Sometimes we wait until that brother, sister, parent, fiancée, spouse or friend dies, then we remember the good things they did and regret the things we never did and run to post on social media where they can’t read.

Live as if today is your last day. Don’t take people that God brought your way for granted, for God had a reason of connecting you and not others. Appreciate people, Love people! I thank God that He put that heart in me, that by His Grace, I normally appreciate people in my life, be it through text messages, calls or gifts. The day I get to go, I will be glad that I let you all know that you were important and I thanked God for you! I will be glad that I did the best I could for the people around me; But if you go first, may I never regret for not telling you how much you meant to me.

And when that day comes, the day I breathe my last, these are the words I long to hear from my Master: 

 Matt 25:21: His Master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little;I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master.

 Shalom

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN

Some time last year, I woke up as usual, and while in the bathroom, my leg just stiffened. I could feel it getting paralyzed from my toes to my feet and way up! I couldn’t do a single thing to stop it, so I stood there calling on God and started massaging it slowly until I felt it slowly going back to normal.

Night time became a time I never looked forward to, for my leg would get paralyzed as I slept and it was always hard to have to “carry” it up, so as to change my sleeping position. It would get better, but it was always like the moment I’d go take a shower, the process would repeat itself. It reached a point that I could tell that it’s about to get paralyzed and I would sit and massage it before it would get serious.

You may ask why I never went to hospital, but fact is I was too scared to even try. I never wanted to be told I was so sick or anything of the sort and hence I never shared with anyone.  I felt I wasn’t strong enough to face whatever the doctors would tell me. How it stopped, only God knows and I thank Him!

Many are the times we have the fear of the unknown. When you fear to know whether your sick parent is still in the ICU or not; Whether any person who cares about you is just after something else or not; Whether the step you want to take in regards to your purpose will work or not; whether the pregnancy test will come out negative again after trying for years; or even whether the person you are in a relationship with is really the one or not!

Prov 3:5 Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;

These are the times when your faith seems to have divorced you and you just need someone to tell you that things will be alright. That reassurance that God is still faithful and has good plans for you; That He’s going to do what He said He would do for you.

What about taking that bold step and leaving it all to God? Or yes going to that sick ward and speak life? What about just going for that test again or even allowing yourself to love again? God is faithful! If only we can put our trust in Him, then we will no longer be slaves to fear. Try Trusting Him today. No matter the situation, choose to look UP to the Author and Finisher of your faith!

Side Note: Today I've felt the pain in my leg again, after so long! I’ve felt it slowly going numb but one thing is I’m no longer afraid! As Michael W. Smith sung: Healing Rain is Falling Down...

God bless you as you take that bold step child of God!

A MYSTERY IT REMAINS...

The month of Love, so they call it. I happened to bump into this song again and well it goes out to my Forever Love <3 That unique, awesome, humble and super loving hunk of a man who is never attracted to the superficial things that so easily distracts the average man, but is focused for he knows it’s not just about us, but the One who binds us; The third Person in our union; The One who's made ALL things beautiful in His time; Our God! Love you honey, not just for a day, but till my last breath!

(Courtesy of Ed Sheeran’s **Thinking Out Loud**)

When your legs don't work like they used to before,
And I can't sweep you off of your feet,
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love?
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks?

And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70 (Forever boo!Forever :-) )

And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23!
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways,
Maybe just the touch of a hand.
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day,
And I just wanna tell you I am.

So honey now,
Take me into your loving arms,
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.
Place your head on my beating heart,
I'm thinking out loud,
Maybe we found love right where we are!

When my hairs all but gone and my memory fades,
And the crowds don't remember my name,
When my hands don't play the strings the same way,

I know you will still love me the same!

'Cause honey your soul can never grow old, it's evergreen,
Baby your smile's forever in my mind and memory.

I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways,
Maybe it's all part of a plan,
I'll just keep on making the same mistakes,
Hoping that you'll understand.

But baby now,
Take me into your loving arms.
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.
Place your head on my beating heart,
I'm thinking out loud,
That maybe we found love right where we are, oh

So baby now,
Take me into your loving arms.
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars.
Oh darling, place your head on my beating heart.
I'm thinking out loud
That maybe we found love right where we are!

Oh maybe we found love right where we are!
And we found love right where we are!