BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST...

I know how it feels to love that person whose single room seems like a hall, but you fill it with your love. I know the joy and pain of seeing it transform to a home in a few months but be rejected by the would be mother-in-law due to your ethnicity.

But better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all.

I know how it feels to love the one who has it all going on for him, but feel empty inside most of the time. When money and gifts replace the person and the love; Some say love can be bought, but mine cannot be equated to any currency.  Then you realize that money cannot comfort or talk to you, and you choose to move on with normal life...

But still, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

I also know how it is to lack; when you have to go to cheap restaurants for your dates so you can save. When you have to share everything from food, transport and also airtime, just so you can both keep in touch; Only for you to have to go separate routes in this journey called life.

But better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Oh I know how it feels to love someone who doesn’t love you back. The one you strive to be there for in all circumstances but they don’t appreciate any of your efforts. When all they see are your wrongs, faults and flaws…

But then again, better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.

Yes I know how it feels to be loved by the one who loves you like Christ loves the church. The one who loves you to death! The joy of having that one person who makes you understand why the rest never worked. Oh the joy…

                              

                                                  …To be continued…

GOD WORKS DIFFERENTLY

I grew up in an environment that was full of Asians and we would obviously play together. We would be invited to their functions and I actually love their food till now. One thing that stood out for me was the little girls with their nose rings! I so admired them while I was still in lower primary to an extent I told my mum how I wanted a nose piercing. Your guess is as good as the reality, because she told me how my nose would “grow big”, I would catch flu and hence wouldn’t be able to blow my nose, and all scary theories.  Her negative response made me stop thinking about it. Fast forward after college, I waited till I moved to my own house and well a day after my 25^th birthday; I went to have it pierced! When I put my mind to something, I rarely give up!

Little did I know that it would raise eyebrows within the church! “How can a born again lady who is in the praise and worship team pierce her nose?”, “Now will God even speak to you in that conference with your nose ring on?” another quipped as we were on our way to a conference! I almost answered but my friend gave me a look that casually told me to let it pass! 

See, God is no respecter of persons, because that conference happened to be the one that God used the visiting Man of God to confirm to me my calling and let me know what I was to do! My nose ring didn’t stop God in any way! I have even met those who ask if I’m from the Coastal regions or if I’m a Muslim just because of it, because a ‘born again’ lady shouldn’t put on such!

This makes me go back to Gen 24. The story about Isaac and Rebecca! The bible speaks how Abraham’s servant carried jewelry and even put it on Rebecca. So it’s not something that just start recently, the mother of Jacob (Israel) and Esau put on one! There are other instances in the bible which mention nose rings as well as you will see below; 

Gen 24:  ²² When the camels had finished drinking, the man took out a gold nose ring weighing a beka and two gold bracelets weighing ten shekels. (NIV)

³⁰ As soon as he had seen the nose ring, and the bracelets on his sister’s arms, and had heard Rebecca tell what the man said to her, he went out to the man and found him standing by the camels near the spring. (NIV)

⁴⁷ “I asked her, ‘Whose daughter are you?’

“She said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel son of Nahor, whom Milkah bore to him.’

“Then I put the ring in her nose and the bracelets on her arms,…

Isa 3:21 the signet rings and nose rings,... 

Eze 16:12  and I put a ring on your nose, earrings on your ears and a beautiful crown on your head.

So child of God, before you decide who God should speak to or use, before you write off that widow or divorcee, before you look down on someone, get to know the person and understand that our thoughts are not the thoughts of God, neither are His ways our ways! He chooses whom He pleases and uses the foolish things to confound the wise. (1Cor 1:27)

Shalom

WHO ARE YOU?

Where are you,

Who’s gonna share your life with me?

By the way, who are you?

I just want us to minister together,

Have our bible studies together,

Laugh together,

Cry together,

Travel together,

And just enjoy life together!

I miss you…

I need you…

I want you…

The missing puzzle in my life,

Where are you?

And by the way,

Who are you?

Trish

THE TORN HEART

I loved you…

No, not because of what you had;

Not because of things I’d heard!

I loved you for you!

Oh what a genuine love I had!

I cared about you…

No, not because I wanted something from you;

But because I wanted the best for you.

Just to see you okay.

Oh how I deeply cared!

I was so free with you…

No, not because I didn’t have others to open up to,

But because I trusted you.

The friend I could say anything to!

Oh how I felt safe with you!

I always wanted to be there for you…

No, not because I expected the same from you.

I wanted to be a good friend,

To stand with you,

Oh just to be there for you!

BUT…

My love was never enough for you.

My care meant nothing to you.

You kept shutting down my efforts to be there for you.

You became too cold and it froze my heart,

And a high wall you built between us.

You pushed me away.

Oh how you pushed my heart away!

DEDICATED TO YOU...

"Patricia, you are one sweet woman and I will respect you to my grave. I am not saying this to flatter you, or because of what we have in common, no, but I have never met a woman like you. The way you carry yourself… I will die thanking God for really you are an angel that God sent to me from heaven. You are God sent! I am so proud of you and I pray God gives you all the best things in this life.”

These are words that would melt most hearts. Words that a friend said to me some few weeks ago, as I stood there feeling so emotional and not knowing how to react. Words that I will always hold dear seeing they came from someone who I’ve known for the last 10years. They came straight from the heart and if I never believed other things, this I will always believe. 

You have stood by me in my good and bad times and I know I can always count on you. A friend who knows my flaws, things that tick me off and what makes me happy and you still choose to be my friend. I’ve cried and laughed the most with you, and we’ve always kept it real. We've shared even the little we had when one of us was down.

The person who’s great desire is to see me happy and get a man who’ll value me and treat me in the best way possible. I will always appreciate you and this here today, is just to honour and appreciate you for believing in me and always making me feel so so special. It was your birthday yesterday, so I want to wish you long life and God’s blessings A.D (aka My Kichaa)

From Your Angel here on earth!

MADE TO LOVE YOU FH

KD aka FH,

I remember saying to my friends how I want that someone who won’t just change my status, but be part of my destiny. You became that answered prayer.

I was made to love you!

To cherish you, treasure you, adore you and submit to you! Made to respect and to honor you as the priest of our home.

My hands,

To touch you and help you;

For a helper is what I am to you.

My arms,

To hold and support you,

when you need someone to be there for you.

My legs,

To stand and walk with you;

In the sweet journey of our life.

My time,

To spend with you forever;

For every second with you counts.

My lips,

To kiss you, speak great things upon your life and speak to nations; For greatness is ours.

My eyes,

To see what an awesome man God blessed me with and to behold the vision you and I have, coming to pass.

My ears,

To hear your sweet words, your corrections towards me and the powerful words God sent you to speak to nations.

My Body,

To belong to you and yours to be mine; 

And offer them to God as living sacrifices.

I remember every boyfriend,

Every heartbreak and every heartache;

They led me to you!

Brought me to you and made me better!
Better for you, better for us!

You just had to be part of my destiny and I in yours. Two souls, becoming one; Your rib, finding a home in my body; leaving our families to cleave to each other and start a new blessed generation. Royalty lies in you!

GOD'S WILL vs MY WILL

Have you ever felt like things are working as opposed to your prayers? Like God is actually answering you in a way you didn’t want? Be it financially, spiritually or even things to do with how you relate with people? Well, I have! In all those areas, but today I will deal with relationships. Many are the times I have prayed people away. Oh don’t give me that look! I am being real here. You know the prayers that go something like;

“Dear God, if so and so are not meant to be part of my life or will make me not fulfill my purpose or make me stagnate, please get ‘em out of my life in Jesus Name. As far as the east is from the west, just remove them. And if there were any feelings, Lord you give us the feelings so please remove them as well. Thank You Lord for doing it. Amen!”

 Some go as if they’ve been blown by the East wind and that’s it. You just don’t hear from them and life moves on like they never existed! This is the point I thank God and I get so excited because now there will be no time wasting, no delays and stagnation in regards to what I was called to do.

Then there are those who like an irritating flu, take time to go. They will still be part of you but then with time, the connection breaks and you only remember them once in a while. True, everyone has a role in your life but then, some people are not meant to go the whole nine yards with you. So when their role in your life ends, you adjust to the new casts, just like seasons do come and go.

Funny that there are some whom we believe are meant to be part of us so we never pray them away, but situations do push them away! You know the ones you are sure they’ll always be there for you, and to you they are the true definition of a friend, only for storms to come and they go with the storm? Such is life and God always finds a way to remove them from the next episodes of your life.

I am not done yet because this last lot is what makes me look to the heavens and ask God “Really God? Really?” You see, these are the ones you’ve been with for some time but it reaches a point and you feel like you’re the only one in the friendship, so you pull away and combine that with the prayer I mentioned earlier. You put a smile on your face knowing Daddy in Heaven has answered, only for Him to do something that will require you to connect with the said person! Like Jonah, you try get an excuse to run away; you remind God of the many vessels He has, so He can choose from the rest to pass the message; You tell yourself that it’s not pride but it’s about your destiny and God should understand! But No!  1Sam 15:22 rings in your head that Obedience is better than sacrifice! You do it and after you’re done, deep down you feel like God is asking you whether it has changed or taken anything away from you for simply obeying!

God made me understand this scenario using the story of Elijah! See, Elijah was a mighty prophet who could command the skies to hold and release rain and they oblige; he called fire from heaven, raised the dead but the day Jezebel attacked, Elijah asked God to kill him! God sent angels instead! You see, sometimes our prayers are not answered because they are not in the will of God! The rain and fire were in the will of God, but death wasn’t! We all know Elijah never tasted death in as much as he prayed for it. God had prepared an express chariot to heaven for him. That was God’s will for Elijah! So to relate my context of praying people away; Some will go because that was God’s will for your life, and the last lot, no matter how hard you pray them away yet it is God’s will to have them in your life for a reason best known to Him, you will be praying amiss and they will remain!

Child of God, will you obey and allow God’s will, or will you “fight” with His will because of  what you believe is best for you? Let’s choose to rest in Him and allow His will to prevail because after all, we can only be safe in Him. Yes, rest and let everything take its course according to His will.

Shalom

I NEED A FRIEND

I need a friend;

Who can tell me its okay and knows I’m not crazy for feeling how I feel.

I need a friend;

Who can sit with me on that hospital bench and assure me that the report isn’t right.

I need a friend;

Who can lend me their ears and give me a shoulder to lean on when I get overwhelmed.

I need a friend;

Who can just hold my hand and say nothing, yet our hearts are speaking.

I need a friend;

Who can hug my pain away and only leave when I feel alright.

I need a friend;

Who can stick with me despite of my shortcomings.

I need a friend;

Who has once cried so they understand what it is like to feel like you’re dead inside.

I need a friend;

Who can listen to me, even when my dreams seem like a fantasy.

I need a friend;

That can be there to correct me and be tough when they see me going astray.

I need a friend;

Who I can laugh with, even when things aren’t going right.

I need a friend;

Who believes in me and understands my craziness as well.

I need a friend;

Who also needs a friend... For I am ready to be that friend.

Cheers!